It’s time for the dark side of full-time travel.
Well, not so much the dark side, but the not-so-great aspects of life on the road.
It’s been about 14 months since Shae and I started traveling full-time and, for the most part, it’s great. There are pros and cons to everything though and some questions from a reader got me thinking about this.
At the beginning of the year, I shared some stats about the first year of our 5 year, 50 state road trip. In the comments below that post, Gisele asked several questions about the personal side of our journey, one of which was:
Is there something you miss from your ‘regular’ life?
About a week after that, Shae shared some of her struggles from our first year, so I thought I’d share some of mine. I’m not a particularly sentimental person, but there are several things I miss about our old life. Some of them are practical, while others are a little more personal.
So here’s a list of 10 things I miss now that we have no home. These aren’t in any particular order, but they’re the order in that I thought of them which probably gives some kind of indication as to which ones matter more to me.
1) Routine
I addressed this last July when looking back at our first 6 months on the road. As I shared then, I’m a creature of habit, so not having a set routine has been hard.
Back when we had a home, my days were fairly similar and it felt like I was extremely productive as everything tended to have a time and place. Nowadays, that routine has pretty much disappeared.
Our Tuesdays and Sundays tend to be similar each week; those are the days I write for Frequent Miler, so we tend to stick around the hotel so I can work. Other than that though, every day is different. We move every five days or so, so even our moving days are different each week.
As a result, I’ve felt less productive than in the past. I try not to be too hard on myself though, as I still have a ton of things that I work on. But a routine is definitely something I miss.
2) My Veggie Garden
Before setting of on our road trip, we rented an apartment for about 18 months. Before that, we’d owned a house in Portsmouth VA for about three years.
Shortly after buying that house, I set up a vegetable garden. It started off on our porch in large containers, then progressed to a raised garden bed in our front yard. I don’t have particularly green fingers, but I did pretty well with growing tomatoes, peppers, onions, carrots, cucumbers, lettuce, canteloupes and more.
It turns out that I loved growing that vegetable garden and I loved eating the fresh vegetables even more. The grape and cherry tomatoes in particular were incredible – infinitely better than store-bought ones. If we do end up settling somewhere in the future, setting up a vegetable garden will be one of the first things on my to-do list.
3) Farmers Market
Despite growing so many of my own vegetables, I enjoyed visiting the Farmers Market in Portsmouth at the weekend, especially to buy fruit and vegetables from Brothers Farm Market. The honeycrisp apples they had in the late summer and fall were amazing. I fell in love with those the first time I tried them; I’d never had apples that tasty before and I haven’t since either. I can’t wait until we return to Virginia later this year so I can stock up on those apples.
4) Friends & Family
Shae is the extrovert in our family. I’m not as introverted now as I used to be when I was younger, but I still default towards staying home over going out. That said, it was nice to have family and friends nearby when living in Portsmouth.
5) Familiarity
One of the nice things about living in the same place is that you know where everything is and how to get there. Well, sort of – my sense of direction around the Hampton Roads area still wasn’t great even after living there for several years.
Still, I knew where the grocery store was. I knew which restaurants and bars were worth visiting. I knew the different routes to take Truffles on a walk. Now, not so much.
Nowadays we shop at a different grocery store every week which in itself has its issues. For starters, we have to find grocery stores in the first place. I used to always shop at Kroger, but despite their nationwide presence, they’re not in every state. In Michigan you’re more likely to find a Meijer, in Texas an H-E-B and in South Carolina a Piggly Wiggly. That means enrolling in their loyalty schemes, working out how their digital coupons work (if they even offer them in the first place) and working out if it’s worth trying to collect their fuel points given we’ll only be in the area for a short amount of time.
Another annoyance is store layouts. Back when we lived in Portsmouth, I used Evernote to create a grocery store shopping list. It included everything we ever bought, with a check box next to each item. Before going grocery shopping, I’d use those check boxes to make a list of what we needed, then I could uncheck them as I went around the grocery store. To make things more efficient, I refined that list so that everything was pretty much in order by shopping aisle which helped minimize backtracking to pick up that one item on aisle 3 once I was down at aisle 18.
Geeky, I know.
But it’s another example of how I miss familiarity now that every grocery store I visit is set out slightly differently.
6) Not Moving So Frequently
In the first 9 years of our marriage, we moved home 12 times which included living in three different countries. That means we moved far more frequently than most people, but it’s nothing compared to our new life.
We now move every five days on average. That has its benefits as it means we get to see new things in different places all the time. It does mean though that we have to pack and unpack every few days. You know how you find it hard to have the motivation to unpack when you get home from vacation? Imagine that feeling every single week. Welcome to life on the road.
7) Consistency
This is somewhat similar to my 5th point about familiarity, but it’s slightly different. When you live in the same place, things are usually consistent. Your Wi-Fi connection tends to be the same (for good or bad). You know where you’re likely to hit traffic and at what times. Even something as basic as the toilet paper you use is the same.
Living in hotels and moving all the time eliminates that consistency. Our Wi-Fi connection could be good one day but terrible when we move to a different hotel. Traffic in downtown Tulsa was unexpectedly non-existent, whereas driving around the perimeter of Dallas was a nightmare.
As for toilet paper, it’s different at every hotel and even the same hotel will sometimes use different rolls! And don’t get me started on the housekeeping staff who leave toilet paper the wrong way round. Monsters, absolute monsters.
8) Meals
Living in hotels means – for the most part – not having a full-size fridge-freezer. No pantry. No kitchen.
I’ve tried to mitigate that third issue by creating a portable kitchen which has made making healthy(ish) meals much more achievable. Having to fit everything in our car though means we don’t have room to stock up on stuff when it’s on sale. Not having a freezer means I can’t cook meals in large batches and freeze them down for future use.
9) Not Having Money Worries
As Shae mentioned in her post, my main concern relates to our budget. We’re trying to do this road trip on a budget of $100 per day because we both quit our full-time jobs to go on this adventure.
That means our income is about a third of what it used to be which, as you’d probably expect, means we have to watch our spending far more carefully than we used to.
Shae and I were in debt for about the first ten years of our marriage, so it was a relief when we got that paid off and were able to actually start saving money. Our income is enough to cover our travel expenses, but we don’t currently have anything left over to add to our savings or retirement. I therefore miss not having money worries and having the satisfaction of knowing that our savings were increasing each month.
10) Having A Bedroom Door
This might seem like a strange thing to include, but I think it’s one that Shae and I both agree on. I’m a night owl and so tend to stay up until about 2am or later. Shae stays up later now than she used to, but she’s still usually in bed by 10pm. That means there’s at least four hours every night between when Shae goes to bed and when I do.
I tend to spend those hours working on website stuff, but that can prove problematic. Unless we’re staying in an Airbnb or get an upgrade to a one bedroom suite at a hotel, we’re living in one room. That means either having a lamp on while I’m working which disturbs Shae’s sleep, or using a headlamp which, while better than nothing, still isn’t great on the eyes at night.
I therefore miss having a bedroom door so Shae can sleep in the dark while I can work with the light on.
Question
If you traveled full-time, what do you think you’d miss most about having a home? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
Anna Z says
Missed coming back HOME after an amazing trip. Sometimes several trips in a row are great. But then coming home feels great. as we say in Russian, walls heal you when you are at home. (Hmmm sounds weird but hope you get the meaning). And gardening. And totally agree with everything you stated.
Gisele says
Your post today put a smile on my face. Thanks for the reply!
I can see how you’d miss those things from living home-free. Traveling is loads of fun but, people also enjoy belonging somewhere and being engaged in something. It’s all part of the human experience.
I think that if I had a life similar to yours, I’d miss being around my family the most. Next, it would be food. Don’t get me wrong I love eating out, especially trying different cuisines but, there would come a time when I’d just miss cooking my own meal in a full-sized kitchen, using up all the gadgets I could find in the drawers!
P.S. I lived in Virginia Beach for a while. It’s where I met my hunk of a husband. 🙂
stephen says
And thanks again for the inspiration for the post 🙂
Melanie Wagner says
I would miss my own bed and my own couch. When I travel to Europe for three weeks I begin longing for sitting on my couch curled up watching tv.
Melanie.
docntx says
How hard has it been to find “pet friendly” accommodations?
stephen says
It definitely makes it harder finding somewhere to stay. Thankfully most hotel chains (and Airbnb) make it easy to filter for pet-friendly properties – you can read more about how here https://nohomejustroam.com/how-to-find-each-hotels-pet-policy/
The bigger issue is how much hotels charge as a pet fee. Most Hyatt Places tend to be pet-friendly and they usually charge $75 per stay. That’s not too bad for longer stays, but it’s a pain if you only want to stay somewhere for one night.
Similarly, most Marriott brands we’ve stayed at that are pet-friendly have a $100 pet fee per stay. Again, not bad if you’re staying a week or more, but it’s not worth it for a one night stay.
We spent about 1/3 of our time in Airbnbs last year, so that was a better way of avoiding pet fees as I think only one or two charged a fee and even then it was a nominal amount (something like $25).
docntx says
Thank you, I will Stephen. Love to follow your blog and travels
Aafje says
Pet “fees” are a “pet peeve” of mine. I don’t see how they can justify $75 per stay–especially when the room rate might only be 25% more. Or charging the same fee no matter how long the stay. I’m not bringing a zebra in, just a 5 lb Chihuahua.
stephen says
Yep, ours is 10 lbs and is hypoallergenic so doesn’t shed.
Sophia says
As a travel nurse I am in the road full time. I try to go home at least once every couple of months. I just finished a stint in Portsmouth, VA by the way ;).
I have been doing this for 4 years now. What I miss the most is being able to pick up consistent hobbies. For example, I used to take piano lessons at home. On the road I can’t because I don’t have an instrument to practice on and sometimes I am in rural areas where it’s impossible to find lessons. Also, my interest in hiking varies by location. Some areas are more flat than others. Sometimes the weather is less permitting, etc.
stephen says
That’s fun that you were in Portsmouth – was that at the Navy hospital or Maryview? We used to live a couple of minutes away from the Navy hospital in Park View.
I agree with you about hiking. We’re in Kansas at the moment and so the terrain here is a bit boring for hiking, whereas we had some fun hikes in South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Ohio and Wisconsin last year.