Not having a home means nowhere feels like home.
That might seem like an obvious statement – especially given that our site name begins with “No Home” – but it’s something I only realized this past week.
A couple of months ago I wrote a post sharing 10 things I miss now we don’t have a home. A few of the items on that list related to our old life in Portsmouth, Virginia. That’s the city we called home for about 7 years before we started traveling full time last year. At a few points on our road trip, I’ve found myself missing it and had been looking forward to returning.
Returning Home. Sort Of.
We’ve subsequently spent the past week staying with Shae’s mom and stepdad in Portsmouth, in the same apartment building that we lived in up until 2013. It’s been strange though, as being back in Portsmouth hasn’t felt like home like I thought it would.
Being here has felt familiar. It’s been nice walking around Olde Towne with its homes from the 1700s and 1800s. It’s also been great bumping into and meeting up with old friends.
It just doesn’t feel like home.
I guess it’s because I know we’re not staying. In fact, we’re leaving today to head back to the UK for a couple of weeks. Funnily enough, that’s also what I sort of think of as home. That’s because it’s where I grew up and lived until I was 29.
Whenever I’ve visited the UK since moving to the US, it hasn’t felt like home either. It’ll likely feel even less like home on this visit as my parents moved a couple of years ago to somewhere new, so they’re no longer in the same house in Bisley that they’d lived in since I was 2 years old.
I’m not a particularly sentimental person and I think it’s good that my parents downsized, so it’s not that I’m going to miss that house too much. It will be weird though having to rely on GPS to get to their house as I’ve no idea where I’m going!
So Portsmouth doesn’t feel like home. The UK doesn’t feel like home. And Bisley definitely isn’t home now either.
Does Anywhere Feel Like Home?
It turns out that for me, the answer’s no. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s just something I’ve only recently realized.
Feeling that way has some unexpected side effects. For example, have you ever been on vacation and, no matter how much you’ve enjoyed yourself, you start looking forward to going home? That sort of happens for me, but in a different way. Rather than looking forward to going home, I start getting antsy and want to move to the next place.
This seems to happen around the 10 day mark, so it doesn’t happen too often. We usually stay somewhere for an average of 5 or 6 days, with us sighing the night before moving day knowing that we have to pack everything that night and then unpack the next day once we reach our next destination. On the few occasions we stay somewhere 10 days though, it almost feels too long and I’m ready to move again.
The good thing is that Shae and I were already used to moving home more frequently than the average person. In the 13 years leading up to the trip, we’d moved home 13 different times. That also included living in three different countries – the UK, US and Thailand. Looking back, I think moving home so frequently was extremely helpful preparation for our road trip as it meant we’ve always been fairly transient and didn’t have super-strong roots anywhere.
Final Thoughts
Anyway, I just wanted to share this as I know that most of what I post about is reviews, information about stuff we’ve done, etc. rather than the personal side of our trip. I’ve been wanting to make more of an effort to share about what life is like on the road, so this is a start 🙂
No Home Just Roam – quite literally!
A very well written, heartfelt post!!
We loved having you visit, even though it isn’t quite home. Hopefully home can take on a new meaning when you stay with family and they can just allow you to “be in the familiar” and take a deep relaxing breath, with no expectations…
xo Mom, Steve and the kitties!
Thanks! We’ve loved staying with you 🙂
Very good post! Food for thought for sure
Thank you!
Another interesting post.
Also gave me a tip about Priority Pass since I had no idea why we received it.
Does it actually get us into airport lounges? All of them? Some of them?
Free?
Thanks….
It gets you into some (not all) airport lounges and airport restaurants. If you have a Priority Pass membership, take a look on their website and enter the airport you’ll be flying from. That’ll list all your options there, along with which terminal they’re in, hours of operation, etc.
The cost will vary depending on your type of membership. Some memberships are free for only the cardholder, others for the cardholder + 1 guest, others for the cardholder and an unlimited number of guests. If you got the membership due to holding a credit card, look up that credit card’s benefits and that’ll tell you what kind of guesting privileges you have. Alternatively, contact Priority Pass directly and provide them with your Priority Pass card number – they’ll then be able to advise of any costs you’ll incur.
What a thoughtful post. I’ve traveled a lot in the past 5 years and had similar thoughts of not feeling completely at home – anywhere. Sometimes it feels like my car is my home. Recently my mom died so I’ve been staying in my childhood home, tying up loose ends for her estate, and that’s been home, but will be emptied out in a few weeks.
But on a happier note, I think my life will settle down in about a year and then im hoping I’ll feel at home in my home again 🙂
I’m sorry to hear about your mom. That must make “home” feel even more different, with both happy memories but sadness at what you’re going through now.