The Ultimate Road Trip: Marriage Edition “So, What’s Next!?”

A 50 state road trip like ours requires a lot of planning.

A. LOT.

So much of our time is spent planning… what’s next. Usually, it’s the next day, the next location, the next state. But we sat down the other day to think through the next year, then the next 3.5 years. It turns out if we spend as much time in some places as we’d like (e.g. 3 months to/from and in Alaska) we’ll have 15 states to do in our final year.

So the discussion inevitably turned to, what do we do? Do we keep it at 5 years and shorten some time in other places or do we extend the trip? I mean, ‘6 years, 50 states’ doesn’t have nearly the ring to it that ‘5 years, 50 states’ does. Am I right!?

So Stephen let the cat out of the bag in this week’s email that we’ll be extending the trip by another year.

To all of us – including me.

I thought we were still discussing it. He thought we’d made the decision. Welcome to married life on the road! We spend a lot of time together so we often feel like we can read each other’s minds. Yes, we should go here. No, we don’t wanna do that. But sometimes there are still tough discussions to be made and we can still get it wrong.

I don’t mind the idea of extending the trip, but it’s a big decision to make since we’re only 1.5 years in. We could still make adjustments in the next 3.5 years to still complete it “on time.” We’ve talked about all kinds of ideas about what’s next – canoeing the Mississippi, cycling Route 66, road tripping through Europe, Australia or Canada or just going around the US again.

But here’s the major difference between me and Stephen. I’m always on to “what’s next.” What’s the next plan, the next big idea, the next challenge. It goes back to me being “Wow!” and Stephen being “How?” as Jon Acuff describes it. I’m not great with being here. Present. In the moment.

There are times when I can rein it in, but they usually involve very special occasions. And honestly, they usually involve animals. I’ve trained myself to not focus on “what’s next” in those moments. I put the camera down and live in the moment, even if it’s just briefly.

I’ve definitely been living that “what’s next” life lately. I’m sorry, but Connecticut is not my cup of tea. It’s not as dog-friendly, there doesn’t seem to be a large variety of things to do, not a lot of history that I’m interested in and not a bunch of food that I just can’t miss. So on the one hand, I’m like, “please… what’s next – I can’t do another 3.5 years of ‘Connecticuts’.”

On the other hand, we’ve not been to some of the “best” states yet, like California, Montana, Florida, Hawaii and Alaska. Maybe I’ll want to slow down and savor being in the moment. But you can only know as you walk it out and live it.

On the other hand (yes I have at least three hands), we have the perfect number of New Year’s Eves for the 5 years. It’s catchy. We have official stickers on our car stating this is 5 years, 50 states. Plus, it was the plan. And with something like this, the plan becomes everything if you’re not careful. If we don’t make it in the 5 years… have we failed?

Failure is a big thing for many people. Me included. I hate regret and feeling like I’ve failed. But I’m also finding out (finally!) that everything I try doesn’t have to be all or nothing. One of the biggest areas I’m learning this in is in my weight loss journey.

If you remember, 6 months ago in my last update, Stephen and I both put on about 30lbs in the first year of the road trip. I wanted to start thriving on the trip, not just surviving. To that end, in March I rejoined Weight Watchers (now branded as WW), seeing as I lost 40lbs+ with the program 12 years ago. I’ve lost about 20lbs now.

I still have a long way to go, but I’m learning the danger of all or nothing. If it’s all or nothing, I might as well have given up months ago. Do you know how hard it is to try and lose weight while travelling? Imagine trying to lose weight on vacation and now that vacation has been going on for six months. Imagine trying to plan meals, eat healthy and make a routine when every day is different. When every 5-7 days you move and don’t have a kitchen. When each new place presents its “must-haves” and local dives.

Some days I “fail.” I overeat. I sit and drink wine while I watch Food Network after a long hike. I don’t feel like going downstairs to the gym. Other days – like today – I planned ahead, made great choices and am sitting here drinking my water. With this choice of a healthier lifestyle, I can’t play the “all or nothing” game, or I’ll be back where I was 6 months ago.

It’s the same with this trip. It can’t be all or nothing. It can’t be 5 years and 50 states or no states at all. We’re already in. We’re living life. And who cares if a bunch of strangers are mad that we extended our trip by a year and call us failures? It’s our life. We can choose to live it just how we want.

But we certainly won’t be in the same place in 5 years that we are right now (thank goodness, sorry Connecticut!), especially if we take the time to savor the moments we do find on the trip. Learn from them. Enjoy them. Create the memories. Share the lessons and experiences with others. We can plan it all out and still miss everything. Or we can take a step back and re-evaluate. Make changes that bring us joy so we can be all in and leave nothing out.

……….

I know that was so poetic, why would I want to ruin a perfectly good blog post with more stuff right? Well, I just wanted to give you an update on what’s been going on in the last 6 months that’s helping all of us to thrive. If you don’t care about this part then just end on my philosophical wonderingments in the last paragraph and be on your way.

Stephen has started a new website called GC Galore. It was really fun when I thought it would bring more money for the trip. It’s been less fun when deals come out at 3am for him to write about and he comes to bed at 4am or later. So, yeah, there’s that. We’re still navigating that change to our schedule – thankfully Connecticut has provided a lot of downtime. (Come on Connecticut, it’s bad when Kansas is beating you out for cool places to visit!)

He’ll also be embarking on a 40,000 points challenge with his colleagues at Frequent Miler. The other guys have been doing this for a lot longer so he’s at a disadvantage, but I know he’s gonna rock the casbah, particularly if he can figure out how to get to Morocco with those miles.

I’m teaching online with Outschool and really enjoying it. I have fantastic students this summer who I’m teaching pet and travel photography to. It’s a great outlet for my love of teaching in a way that suits our lifestyle. I’ll be trying to add later classes so I can teach to students in China and Australia, so maybe we’ll all just shift to a sleep all day, party (*cough work cough*) all night attitude.

I’m also still working on my children’s books, with a goal to approach agents by the end of the year. The classes I’m taking with Storyteller Academy are really helping and I splurged and got a $30 writing pad to help improve my drawing skills.

Overall, I’m much happier and therefore less anxious day-to-day which is really helpful. I’m definitely starting to have more anxiety about our trip to Bali – such a long flight – but I’ve done it before, so I can do it again. And really… it’s Bali for basically free so I can’t complain. We’ve been married for 15 years this August and this will be a wonderful way to take a break from the pressures of the road trip (because yes, there are pressures) and refresh ready to tackle the next year.

Truffles is… well… Truffles. Not much has changed for her. She was pretty sick a few weeks ago and got a small injury to her back after being bowled over by a very large golden doodle puppy. She went for grooming yesterday, so if you follow her travels and you’d seen how fluffy she’s gotten, be sure to check out her latest photos now that she’s nakey!

Thank you as always for reading and following along. I hope you’re enjoying our joys and our mistakes (like, since we last spoke, we drove for 2 weeks with the windshield wiper covers on and were ready to give AutoZone a piece of our minds!). See you on the road!