Trying Rocky Mountain Oysters (Bull Testicles) For The First Time

When is seafood not seafood? When they’re Rocky Mountain Oysters.

That’s because Rocky Mountain Oysters aren’t oysters. They’re what Texans call ‘calf fries’ which gives a hint as to their origin.

In case you didn’t know, Rocky Mountain Oysters are deep-fried bull testicles. They’re a Denver, CO “delicacy” (although there’s nothing delicate about them), so Shae and I decided they were something we should try while in Denver on our 50 state road trip.

Did we go nuts for the nuts? Crackers for the knackers? Would we praise the cojones? Go mad for the gonad? Be besties with the testes? Be cool about the testicle?

Read on and watch to find out!

Buckhorn Exchange Restaurant

While staying in Montrose, CO we’d visited Storm King Distilling Co and while there another patron recommended that we eat at Buckhorn Exchange restaurant. It’s Denver’s oldest restaurant and they serve Rocky Mountain Oysters, so this was the perfect opportunity to kill two birds with one stone (stone pun somewhat intended 😉 ).

Buckhorn Exchange is a unique building in its neighborhood, standing alone while everything around it has gentrified over the years. It first opened its doors in November 1893 and still features a white oak bar dating back to 1857 which was brought over from the original owner’s family tavern in Germany.

The inside of the restaurant is a smorgasbord of paraphernalia, from mounted animal heads to photos of celebrities who’ve eaten there over the years to items belonging to Sitting Bull who was friends with Henry H. “Shorty Scout” Zietz, the restaurant’s original owner.

We were still a little wary about eating inside due to COVID, but they didn’t have any outdoor seating. Thankfully we were seated upstairs where there were only a couple of other people.

The servers at Buckhorn Exchange were well-versed in the restaurant’s history. Our friendly server Brittany shared that the table next to ours was once used as a poker table, with it having pockets on the side to store decks of cards.

The restaurant’s history was fascinating, but our primary reason for being there was to try Rocky Mountain Oysters. Their menu was cute as it was included as part of a newspaper which shared about the eatery’s illustrious past.

Rocky Mountain Oysters

Entrees at Buckhorn Exchange aren’t cheap, but Rocky Mountain Oysters are one of their appetizers and so were a bit cheaper. We had two options – a whole order or half order. Shae and I were already dubious about how appetizing we’d find the appetizer, so we decided to only get a half order.

Within a few minutes our bull balls were served. Thankfully they’re not served spherically; instead, they’re sliced thinly, battered and deep-fried, then served with a horseradish dip and cocktail sauce.

So…how were they? Well, you can watch our reactions because we filmed our first time eating them:

As you can see from the video, I didn’t think they were too bad. There were a few of them though that were much more chewy which immediately made it impossible to envision anything other than chomping down on a bull’s gonads.

As for Shae, you know how there are five stages of grief? Well, for her there are three stages of eating Rocky Mountain Oysters:

Although neither of us fell in love with Rocky Mountain Oysters, we thought that the third member of our family might appreciate them far more. I therefore removed some breading from one of the sliced bullock’s bollocks, cut it up more finely and brought it back to Truffles.

Truffles doesn’t have the most sophisticated palate, but Rocky Mountain Oysters were clearly a delicacy for her. One taste and she immediately had perky ear – watch the video to see her gobble it down.

Final verdicts

Me – Had some ifs and buts about the nuts

Shae – Had a few moans about the stones

Truffles – Amaze-balls